Bill Simmons: The Interview

Being marginal writers ourselves, we've reached out to other marginal writers in hopes of sitting down for a few minutes and picking their brains. Our first guest is none other than Bill Simmons.

Flyers Fieldhouse: Thanks for stopping by, Bill. We appreciate the time.
Bill Simmons: I'd appreciate it if you called me The Sports Guy. It's kind of my thing.
FF: Um, alright. No problem, Sports Guy. Let's ge--
BS: My buddies Sully and J-Bug are going to hang out.
FF: Uh, yeah, cool. I guess that's alright. Anyway, so in a way, you were one of the first sports bloggers. How did y--
BS: What the **** did you just say? Sully, I know this queer didn't just call me a blogger, did he? I know you know better than that, son. Do you want me to let my boys run a train on your girlfriend? I'll ****ing let them.
FF: Jesus Christ, no. Moving on. Well, we here at Flyers Fieldhouse are a group of recent college grads that primarily talk about college basketball. Are there any tips you can give us about increasing our core reader base?
BS: First of all, I don't give a **** what you do. I'm Bill Simmons, for God's sakes. The Dooze pinches off ****s that are more valuable than your sorry existence. Second, do you think I don't know you're a college basketball blog? Do you not read my columns each March? I AM college basketball. Billy Packer comes to the man cave and juggles my ***** ever so gently just to get a mention in the Simmons basketball blog.
FF: Right. You've written at length this season about the NBA prospects of both Greg Oden and Kevin Durant. As it stands today, do you still feel that Kevin Durant is the better pro prospect?
BS: You say "at length" like it's a ****ing chore. I'm doing you a god damn service. And don't insult my intelligence by comparing that old mother****er to Kevin Durant. The game of basketball was invented in anticipation of a player like Kevin Durant.
FF: Could you please ask your friends to stop harassing my sister? And my brother?
BS: **** you. They'll help themselves to whatever and whoever they please.
FF: Would you be interested to see how Kevin Durant might further progress and dominate the college game were he to return to Texas?
BS: There is no progressing. He's perfect. He's beautiful. He is a solitary rose growing in the cracked sidewalk that is Austin, Texas.
FF: You've been critical of Rick Barnes' role in Kevin Durant's developme--
BS: You want to know why I think Rick Barnes is a terrible coach?
FF: I've read your columns, I think I can--
BS: Shut the **** up, I'm telling you why Rick Barnes sucks.
FF: I think that's enough. Thanks for sharing your time, Sports Guy.
BS: Do you want to hear about how Isiah Thomas hates me? Please? [/align] Posted by Ray at 9:52 PM 0 comments Links to this post

 

[sm=WTFsgign.gif]...is that for real?

 

ZZrick,

You really want the good stuff? I may be able to write one tomorrow!


Regards..........Rocketman

 

Looking forward to it...well...at least the arguments that will ensue afterwards

 

Wow, your first belivable post. I thought of a PWI name for you if you make it to 1000 posts "The Bull Sh*t poster of PWI".

 

hmm, and here I thought you had an exhaust vid of your ride.

 

This is what i did last night:

I passed out on the couch after eating some cheetos (dinner), woke up at like 4 am went to bed

 

*laughs*

MAN I wish I could take credit for this one... EXCELLENT, Merdox! And yes - absolutely - TAG IT!

 

Yeah, but now there is no one gang up on

 

dinky likes cheetos[X(]