Off Topic
#1
04-14-2006, 06:18 PM
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 21,060
Off Topic
Oh I have to share a few stories to share with you guys, two involving my first wife about 15 years ago, and the third on happened to my Aunt.
Story 1: In 1988 I bought a 1985 Suzuki LT 250R Quad racer. I think it was the first water cooled ATV, anyway I really liked it even though it was a two stroke. This thing was really fast, in fact so fast I decided that I was not going to let anyone ride it for fear that they would wrap it around a tree. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against two strokers, but for the style of riding I like to do the 4 stroke is the machine for me. Anyway one day after asking me over and over, my wife and my then sister-n-law came up and asked again if they could ride it. I said no it's a two stroke and I don't want you to get hurt. Then one of them said, and I quote: "well can you take off the two stroke part so we can ride it?" LOL I have told that story to people but if you know about bikes it really means a lot more.
Story 2: When my first wife and I got married we lived in Longview Wa. Now first of all let me set this up. We got married when we were too young. She was 16 and I was 19. Yea I know stupid idiots, LOL Anyway one day I came home from work as an apprentice Electrician for Weyerhaeuser and when I came in she was upstairs doing something. And I noticed that all of the phones had plastic bags on them. When she came down I said what's up with the bags on the phones, and she said that there was an announcement on the radio from the phone company that said they were blowing out the telephone lines and to keep dust out of you're house you should put plastic bags on the phones. Well I just stared at her and it was at that moment that I realized that I got married too young. LOL hahaha
Story 3: Some or most of you guys have probably heard the prank where you send someone to a store for blinker fluid or a can of compression. Well in the 70's my Uncle was doing some remodeling in his house and he told my Aunt to go to the lumber yard to get a board stretcher. Yea that's right. So she goes down there and asks the guy at the counter for a board stretcher and he looks at her and says "Oh sorry it already being used by someone else" He totally played it out as if it was something that they really had. I bet that wasn't the first time he had a wife come in to ask for that.
Disclaimer: No wives were hurt in the making of this post.
Anyway I just thought I would share that with all of you guys, just for laughs.
deej
Story 1: In 1988 I bought a 1985 Suzuki LT 250R Quad racer. I think it was the first water cooled ATV, anyway I really liked it even though it was a two stroke. This thing was really fast, in fact so fast I decided that I was not going to let anyone ride it for fear that they would wrap it around a tree. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against two strokers, but for the style of riding I like to do the 4 stroke is the machine for me. Anyway one day after asking me over and over, my wife and my then sister-n-law came up and asked again if they could ride it. I said no it's a two stroke and I don't want you to get hurt. Then one of them said, and I quote: "well can you take off the two stroke part so we can ride it?" LOL I have told that story to people but if you know about bikes it really means a lot more.
Story 2: When my first wife and I got married we lived in Longview Wa. Now first of all let me set this up. We got married when we were too young. She was 16 and I was 19. Yea I know stupid idiots, LOL Anyway one day I came home from work as an apprentice Electrician for Weyerhaeuser and when I came in she was upstairs doing something. And I noticed that all of the phones had plastic bags on them. When she came down I said what's up with the bags on the phones, and she said that there was an announcement on the radio from the phone company that said they were blowing out the telephone lines and to keep dust out of you're house you should put plastic bags on the phones. Well I just stared at her and it was at that moment that I realized that I got married too young. LOL hahaha
Story 3: Some or most of you guys have probably heard the prank where you send someone to a store for blinker fluid or a can of compression. Well in the 70's my Uncle was doing some remodeling in his house and he told my Aunt to go to the lumber yard to get a board stretcher. Yea that's right. So she goes down there and asks the guy at the counter for a board stretcher and he looks at her and says "Oh sorry it already being used by someone else" He totally played it out as if it was something that they really had. I bet that wasn't the first time he had a wife come in to ask for that.
Disclaimer: No wives were hurt in the making of this post.
Anyway I just thought I would share that with all of you guys, just for laughs.
deej
#3
04-15-2006, 05:42 AM
RE: Off Topic
Too funny Deej,
Working in a home improvement store (RONA) for 11 years has brought in lots of funny questions. Left handed hammers, Board stretchers, A lady that insisted on an electrical plate cover - the duplex receptacle on one side and a toggle switch on the other. I show her the double gang plate and to her she sees the toggle opening on the left and the outlet portion on the right. She gets all pissed at me and says I don't have what she's looking for because she wants the toggle on the right and the outlet on the left. So I take the plate, rotate it 180 degrees, look back at her - She grabs the plate out of my hand and storms off - obviously feeling stupid. It's amazing what people have in their minds sometimes. Of course we always had fun with the new employees - go refill the water fountain. Sure enough you'd see some poor kid taking a 5 gallon pail and filling it up with water from the Garden Center, walking and sloshing to the water fountain and then hoisting up this huge pail and pouring it into the water fountain. Wish I had taken video of it. Then you tell people to find the basement and get something for them. They walk around desperately looking for the basement and to make a good impression - only to find there isn't a basement - only slab on grade - though most of the employees they ask for help just tell them to go down a certain aisle... No wonder you can't get good help when you need it at Homer, Rona, Lowes, etc. ...
Those days are behind... now I build custom houses. Now I only have myself to make fun of.
Smurph
Working in a home improvement store (RONA) for 11 years has brought in lots of funny questions. Left handed hammers, Board stretchers, A lady that insisted on an electrical plate cover - the duplex receptacle on one side and a toggle switch on the other. I show her the double gang plate and to her she sees the toggle opening on the left and the outlet portion on the right. She gets all pissed at me and says I don't have what she's looking for because she wants the toggle on the right and the outlet on the left. So I take the plate, rotate it 180 degrees, look back at her - She grabs the plate out of my hand and storms off - obviously feeling stupid. It's amazing what people have in their minds sometimes. Of course we always had fun with the new employees - go refill the water fountain. Sure enough you'd see some poor kid taking a 5 gallon pail and filling it up with water from the Garden Center, walking and sloshing to the water fountain and then hoisting up this huge pail and pouring it into the water fountain. Wish I had taken video of it. Then you tell people to find the basement and get something for them. They walk around desperately looking for the basement and to make a good impression - only to find there isn't a basement - only slab on grade - though most of the employees they ask for help just tell them to go down a certain aisle... No wonder you can't get good help when you need it at Homer, Rona, Lowes, etc. ...
Those days are behind... now I build custom houses. Now I only have myself to make fun of.
Smurph
#5
04-16-2006, 12:43 AM
RE: Off Topic
Once while my wife and my then only son of about 3 years old (have three now) and I were driving to the Grandparents house in my beat up old Dodge PowerRam 150, we started hearing an aweful metal scraping sound from underneath. So I pulled over and took a peak and the tail piple had come loose was was just being held by the flexible strap that holds those on. So I cut it off with my Leatherman tool and tossed the pipe in the back bed to fix or dispose of later. I got back in and said it was the muffler draggin' and I cut it off with my knife and it shouldn't be a problem any more.
Well, the truck was quiet for a few miles and after about 10 miles down the road my son, with big round eyes and a small voice, said: "Did it bite you, Dad?"
"Did what bite me?"
"You know, the dragon?", he said.
"What dragon?", I asked.
"The Muffler Dragon?" - with the most serious and somewhat frightened expression.
To this day, I can only imagine what went through his mind about the fight and fury than went on underneath that truck as I cut that pesky Muffler Dragon loose from under that old pickup truck.
Well, the truck was quiet for a few miles and after about 10 miles down the road my son, with big round eyes and a small voice, said: "Did it bite you, Dad?"
"Did what bite me?"
"You know, the dragon?", he said.
"What dragon?", I asked.
"The Muffler Dragon?" - with the most serious and somewhat frightened expression.
To this day, I can only imagine what went through his mind about the fight and fury than went on underneath that truck as I cut that pesky Muffler Dragon loose from under that old pickup truck.
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