Zap, like I should have said in the PM:

Never envy a man his lady. Behind it all lays a living hell.
- CHARLES BUKOWSKI


Take care and I hope everything works out for you - if you don't drink now is a good time to start!

 

Thanks Guys..........be on the lookout for me though............peace.

 

Things always seem to work out in the end,just keep your cool and wait it out bro,she may slip up to the wrong person.

 

wow man, that really sucks.... i dont understand how they can not let you have your own stuff... i could see if her name is on it too... but wtf.....

 

Hey Man,
Sorry to hear about your hassles, don't you just hate it that the law and nearly everyone else always sticks up for the females, even when they are in the wrong. I thought the law was suppose to be fair and just, probably the only good thing is that there are no kids involved, man that can get messy!!!

Keep Smiling your better off without her.

Cheers
Chris.

 

When someone asked Marilyn Monroe how she liked living in a man's world, she said, fine, as long as I can be a woman. In the big picture, be glad no kids are involved. She dented a year or two of your life, man (maybe a lot more, the house, ouch dude) but at least you're not dealing with an emotionally deranged person while trying to do right by a small child for the next 20 years.

In a lot of states, they'll still give custody of a child to a heroin-addicted bag lady, before they'll grant sole legal custody to a male. MA and FL are famously gender-biased in courts. I know we're talking property, not kids, but I'm sayin', shared legal rights to anything may be the best you can do, in any circumstance, all the way up to, and including, situations where people are physically jeopardizing or threatening children. Reread that a few times and think about it. I speak from experience. And that is all the while, the whole time, everyone in the courts raving about the "right thing to do". Except the judges. Because they actually tell people what the right thing is, and they don't like people assuming what they're going to say. They don't like that at all.

I always represented myself, I didn't let any lawyers speak for me (or assume and accept outcomes, for me), I dressed up very well, and spoke to the judge whenever I could, as if they were GOD incarnate, Yes Sir, No, Your Honor, and once in a blue moon I was able to communicate my side to a rational and important person (a judge), and each time, I gained ground. You want to cry in court, well that's fine. You want to get angry in court, well you will be bitch-slapped by God. You don't want to even appear slightly angry in court. You want to exhibit unfair damages, for the Judge to correct. I mean, literally, exhibit them.

Don't expect anything to go your way, but don't listen to anyone who tells you to give up or settle for less than what's right, ignore all moaners of doom, ignore all the rational "that's the way it is" people, including most lawyers and all free court or legal services, and start calming down and getting cold. Live your life for the rare moments, when you will be able to communicate yourself rationally and effectively to a judge, in their courtroom.

For the most part, ignore everyone, including me. No one has been legally through exactly what you are going through. Every situation is different, and the only constant thing will be the precious minutes you will be able to actually speak to a judge. And that opportunity may come only twice a year, or once every two years, or only once. If you can, try to pace your court appearances on your terms, not hers. If she slips up (DUI, late utility bills and the electricity gets cut off, etc.) that's a great time to get into court. Consider suing her for civil damages for the lie. Start with three nicely typed, heart-felt character references for yourself from friends, bosses, etc, at least one or two bad ones against her, if anyone can testify bad behavior (abusive language to friends, etc), and start from there. Start collecting your own typed court documents. Yes, it is a LOT of work.

I can't emphasis enough, this is like a knife fight that goes on and on. And on and on. And your opportunities for a strike will be very few, and they will be very far between. And every opportunity has to win for you. Don't antagonize her, if you can avoid it, because the system is your dangerous foe, not her, she's just playing with her head up her a**, and any confrontations that happen, will go against YOU in court. Seriously. I don't live in FL, but I can tell you that FL came up about 10 times, over the course of the last 18 years, when I was discussing gender unfairness in courts with judges and lawyers (MA, FL), so congratulations. You can justifiably bring that fact up, every time you tell your sad story for the rest of your life. But you can't be a hot-head, you got to be a calm rider.

The system is not human, has no soul. The Judges are human, and can fix things for you.

Her contribution to your life together-- does it justify her having the house? No? Then prepare some spreadsheets, along with tax returns, that shows your point. No, that screams your point to the nth degree, so that when a judge reads it, he/she will have to agree with you for their own self-respect. Has she used the Jeep for livelyhood? Have you? Put it in writing, restate it, and attach it to documents that you want to get into the hands of a Judge when you have 5 minutes when you are allowed to speak to a Judge. Anything you type up as evidence, will be read by the Judge either before they come into the room, or they will read (or hear) summaries from their clerks, and then start reading your documents about the time your name is called in their courtroom. Get yourself organized and get calm. And get some things in paper for Judges to read. The good thing is, you are in no huge hurry.

Example: you can't make a big deal out of her lying, to get the restraining order. "He said, she said." Blah blah. Two sides to every story. However, if you state simply that the lie she told to get the restraining order, caused you MASSIVE damage, expense, and inconvenience to your life, and then you neatly present the next three pages of itemized points about how this has totally screwed you--- oh my god, how unfair, look at how bad this got, I didn't have my work clothes, I'm not sleeping good, my back hurts, etc. all damages from her, and caused by her,-- THEN yes, it gets read, despite it is really a "he said, she said" thing. And yeah, it will affect a judge's decision.

Best of luck, truly. It can be done, take every opportunity you can, to get calm, get quiet, and get cold. Stay "biker righteous". Be the one with the typed facts, character references, itemizations, and repeated typed facts.

My daughter is going off to college next year, healthy and happy. Guess why? 20 years of court fighting. And I am getting an '09 KLX250s to celebrate, next spring, hopefully by my bday. And then we are going to move somewhere warm where we can hike and trail-ride. I haven't had a bike in years. RUB (rich urban biker), my ***. Mid-life crisis, my ***. Hehe. Smile, and keep your hands hidden.

 

that sucks bro! sorry to hear it man. hope it works out for ya.

 

Quick update: I don't know why, and I don't care, but she packed up the rest of my things in the jeep, parked it down the road from the house, locked her set of keys in it, and had the sheriffs office call me and tell me I could come get it. I did. I had a coworker drive me to it (also as a witness in case it was a setup!). So now I've got ALL my stuff, I found the perfect apartment today, which I'm signing a new lease on it tommorow. From the same company I was already renting from. I did have to pay rent for december, $1000, and give a formal 30 day notice, but that act of honesty keeps me in the green as a good renter, and effectively breaks the old lease. I also got a call from the sheriffs office today on the bike issue, and apparently the have been 5 other bikes stolen in this area in the past 2 months. I hope they catch them and burn em at the stake. Karma is beautiful, and life's lookin much better.............About the court situation I already did just what Dmon said. Bought a new suit (first one for me), nice calm voice, yes your honor, no your honor, no anger, and well spoken, all while she was sitting there pitching a fit almost screaming in the courtroom. She looked like an ***. I hope I get my bike back intact. I've got a lot of riding to do.

 

good.... glad you got your stuff back, and looks like things might be turning around for ya.

 

head down and keep truckin along bro....it'll go your way sooner or later.....it sometimes takes a while to steer a big ship but it'll eventually come around on ya.I just finished up with my year long ordeal and to tell you the truth....it worked out for the better.I'm sure it will for you too.