Is there anything Walmart can't do
#1
02-06-2007, 02:04 AM
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,144
Is there anything Walmart can't do
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind
him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a
doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike
replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a
urine sample and the
computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do
about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . A lot cheaper than
a doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you fo r shopping @
Wal-Mart."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a
stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He
deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
(Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a
doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike
replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a
urine sample and the
computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do
about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . A lot cheaper than
a doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you fo r shopping @
Wal-Mart."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a
stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He
deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
(Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
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