An old Navy joke.....
#1
02-13-2007, 08:19 PM
An old Navy joke.....
The Royal Navy was trying to phase out three very old servicemen to make way for some up and coming new bloods. To make the offer enticing, the MOD offered an additional 1,000 pounds for each inch of their body, measured from one extremity to another.
The first up, an old grizzled, passed over, Lieutenant Commander, said, "I'd like to be measured from fingertip to fingertip". Sure enough, he was offered an additional 36,000 pounds to go.
The next, a three badge Stoker, said, "I'd like to be measured from the top of me old bald head, to the end of me toes" - he was offered an extra 72,000 pounds.
The final one, an old timer Fleet Chief Tiff (old school, HMS Fisgard & HMS Caledonia), came up, and, smoking his pipe, said "I'd like to be measured from the tip of my bell end to the dangle of my *****".
"Are you sure?" asked the bewildered redundancy expert, "that could be a rather small amount".
"No problem" said the Janner-sounding Tiff. So they got the tape measure on his todger, and then, after looking between his legs in puzzlement, asked, "Chief, where exactly are your *****, as we can't find 'em?!".
"The Falklands" replied the Tiff
The first up, an old grizzled, passed over, Lieutenant Commander, said, "I'd like to be measured from fingertip to fingertip". Sure enough, he was offered an additional 36,000 pounds to go.
The next, a three badge Stoker, said, "I'd like to be measured from the top of me old bald head, to the end of me toes" - he was offered an extra 72,000 pounds.
The final one, an old timer Fleet Chief Tiff (old school, HMS Fisgard & HMS Caledonia), came up, and, smoking his pipe, said "I'd like to be measured from the tip of my bell end to the dangle of my *****".
"Are you sure?" asked the bewildered redundancy expert, "that could be a rather small amount".
"No problem" said the Janner-sounding Tiff. So they got the tape measure on his todger, and then, after looking between his legs in puzzlement, asked, "Chief, where exactly are your *****, as we can't find 'em?!".
"The Falklands" replied the Tiff
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