These are pretty funny... also another good reminder of the frailties
of the men/women we might tend to pedestalize...there's always a
sermon somewhere!



> BRAIN CRAMPS
>
>
>
> (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected

> as Miss America 1995.)
>
> Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
> Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live
> forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would
> live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not
> live forever,"
>
>
> --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
>
>
> ``````````````````````````````````
>
> "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over
> the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like
> that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
>
> --Mariah Carey
>
> ````````````
>
> "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
> important part of your life,"
> --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
> Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
>
>
> `````````````````````````````````````````````````
>
>
>
> "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
> of my body,"
> --Winston Bennett,
> University of Kentucky basketball forward.
>
>
> `````````````````````````````````````````````
>
>
>
> "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
> lowest crime rates in the country,"
> --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
>
>
> `````````````````````````````
>
>
>
> "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
> our papers. We are the president."
> --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
> subpoenaed documents.
>
>
> `````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``
>
> "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a
> jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
> --A congressional candidate in Texas.
>
>
> ````````````````````````````
>
> "Half this game is ninety percent mental."
> --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
>
>
> ``````````````````````````````````
>
> "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
> the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
> --Al Gore, Vice President
>
> ```````````````````
>
>
>
> "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
>
> --Dan Quayle
>
> ``````````
>
>
>
> "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
> clean air do we need?"
> --Lee Iacocca
>
> ```````````
>
>
>
> "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
> genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
> --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
>
>
> ````````````````````````````````````````````
>
>
>
> "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain
> types of people."
> --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
>
> `````````````````````````````````
>
>
> "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
>
> --Bill Clinton, President
>
> ``````````````````
> "We are ready for an unforeseen event that
> may or may not occur."
> --Al Gore, VP
>
> ````````````````
>
>
>
> "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
> from overseas."
> --Keppel Enderbery
>
> ````````````````
>
> "Your food stamps will be stopped effective
> March 1992 because we received notice that
> you passed away. May God bless you. You may
> reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
> --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
>
>
> ````````````````````````````````````````````
>
>
> "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
> in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
> heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake
> up dead, there'll be a record."
> --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

 

Those are funny, cant belive Mariah Carey said that. Here are some more, can you guess who said them?



"We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job. That's what I'm telling you."—Gulfport, Miss., Sept. 20, 2005.

"Do you have blacks, too?" —to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001

"The really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway." —explaining why high taxes on the rich are a failed strategy, Annandale, Va., Aug. 9, 2004

"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." —Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." —Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

 

#1. either Bush or "Mikey Brown"

#4. probably Rumsfeld

#5. Cheney or Ken Lay?
#6. Family guy?!

 

lol, you were right with your first guess, funny though it seems like something the family guy would say, or homer simpson

 

THats good stuff! LOL

 

That was awesome! Geez, some people don't think about what they say before they say it!

 

what did you say????? lol lol lol lol

 

Well - you'll love this! "I didn't say that I said it, I said that I didn't say that I said it!"

**I read that saying about 10 years ago and for some reason, I love it - really throws people off!!!!

 

ok there bluebird you lost me there lol. We all know you said it lol

 

how about this.... i know what i said cause i said it. but what you said isn't what i said. that's why what your saying is wrong....